Wednesday, June 19, 2013
Seriously, this blog is turning into complaining blog. It seems that I am the only one in SP who is interested in teaching Poomsae.. break the class for grading and tournament training, and no1 to take? seriously? then whats tthe point of breaking up the class? ends up my students + sir robin come back up to tell me, there is no1 to take care of them. when i am taking, comments were im too focused on the minority.. majority slacking.. so when im not there, everyone is suppose to slack? Took the training for a few times, and din take any more because dunno white belt pattern? come on lah!! you are a black belt, how long do you need to learn the pattern? + y do you have to learn, when they alr know the pattern, and you just have to be there to correct their moves.. instead, sitting 1 corner, using phone.
Some expect me to train for sparring, some say the basics that i teach cui, some say that i shld train up my own poomsae be4 teaching, some say i shld go take part in poomsae competition and proof myself being capable. i am not good.. so? anyone is going to take up this position? i am taking them not becoz i think that i am good, but rather i can give them something. at the same time, improving my understanding as well. so what if you are capable, but dont put them to use. as long as they take something away, thats more than enough. Im throwing my sundays away to sparring and poomsae training not becoz i have a lot of time. despite getting over so many things alr, i still havent got a good slp for a long time.
Whampoa has got 2 X 6 teams, and I am expected to take them.. well done.. ICTO is coming, next weekend im missing, PA im gonna train 5 brown belts, and i am taking part myself, and the following week is whampoa. and grading to follow up.. lets see how it turns out.
Seriously, this blog is turning into complaining blog. It seems that I am the only one in SP who is interested in teaching Poomsae.. break the class for grading and tournament training, and no1 to take? seriously? then whats tthe point of breaking up the class? ends up my students + sir robin come back up to tell me, there is no1 to take care of them. when i am taking, comments were im too focused on the minority.. majority slacking.. so when im not there, everyone is suppose to slack? Took the training for a few times, and din take any more because dunno white belt pattern? come on lah!! you are a black belt, how long do you need to learn the pattern? + y do you have to learn, when they alr know the pattern, and you just have to be there to correct their moves.. instead, sitting 1 corner, using phone.
Some expect me to train for sparring, some say the basics that i teach cui, some say that i shld train up my own poomsae be4 teaching, some say i shld go take part in poomsae competition and proof myself being capable. i am not good.. so? anyone is going to take up this position? i am taking them not becoz i think that i am good, but rather i can give them something. at the same time, improving my understanding as well. so what if you are capable, but dont put them to use. as long as they take something away, thats more than enough. Im throwing my sundays away to sparring and poomsae training not becoz i have a lot of time. despite getting over so many things alr, i still havent got a good slp for a long time.
Whampoa has got 2 X 6 teams, and I am expected to take them.. well done.. ICTO is coming, next weekend im missing, PA im gonna train 5 brown belts, and i am taking part myself, and the following week is whampoa. and grading to follow up.. lets see how it turns out.
11:24 pm
Monday, June 10, 2013
National Poomsae finally over.. results i would say, more or less expected, except for a few of them. i have my reasons for saying so. its not really just about the performance that everyone had, but about the amount of time that we have to train, the starting point of everyone, the pace that everyone picks things up, and also the amount of commitment and effort everyone put in. Its such a good effort put in by everyone. and it gave me a very special feeling compared to any competitions i have taken for in the past. The results could have been better if i was better, but i have learnt so much during this period, that i am actually considering to just settle down with poomsae. though I may not be good at doing it myself, but i have now gained the confidence of teaching it.
The past 2 month, so many questions have been thrown at me. those questions i have never been asked, and never though of. I never had an immediate answer to those questions. but by thinking deeper, and trying to understand moves and executions more, There is just so much insight to be picked up. not just that, taking so many people at once, the difficulty in teaching everyone to a way that i can be understood was never easy. Spent so much effort , to work on each of them as an individual, it definitely paid off in helping them and helping me. came out with so many ways to teach one thing, so many ways of delivering, and helping different people to achieve the same thing.
In the past, i have always said, i want to start training many many month before the competition. I have nvr ever done it. Im not going to do it now either, but im going to maintain the trainings every week. the best way to learn is not by following. its by thinking and understanding, and understanding comes from teaching. i have thought of ways to achieve such out come. Earlier, i said that i have been so committed is becoz of keli. Now, it will be for you guys. For some of you, its not you who have let me down. rather, im the one who let you down. For the trust that you all have in me, and the amount of commitment that you guys are willing to put in, i'm gonna carry on and push SP to new heights. and i promise that i am gonna do it this year, even if it means that i have to sacrifice my time to train in NTU. Same problems might come again when preparing for the next tournament, but i wont be afraid to do it anymore. If i can pull through once, I will do it again, and doing better than this time.
Not to forget, the effort that zaki and keli put in to help me out, and the push and motivation from you guys when i really needed them. It wont have been possible if you guys are not there. JIAYOU!
National Poomsae finally over.. results i would say, more or less expected, except for a few of them. i have my reasons for saying so. its not really just about the performance that everyone had, but about the amount of time that we have to train, the starting point of everyone, the pace that everyone picks things up, and also the amount of commitment and effort everyone put in. Its such a good effort put in by everyone. and it gave me a very special feeling compared to any competitions i have taken for in the past. The results could have been better if i was better, but i have learnt so much during this period, that i am actually considering to just settle down with poomsae. though I may not be good at doing it myself, but i have now gained the confidence of teaching it.
The past 2 month, so many questions have been thrown at me. those questions i have never been asked, and never though of. I never had an immediate answer to those questions. but by thinking deeper, and trying to understand moves and executions more, There is just so much insight to be picked up. not just that, taking so many people at once, the difficulty in teaching everyone to a way that i can be understood was never easy. Spent so much effort , to work on each of them as an individual, it definitely paid off in helping them and helping me. came out with so many ways to teach one thing, so many ways of delivering, and helping different people to achieve the same thing.
In the past, i have always said, i want to start training many many month before the competition. I have nvr ever done it. Im not going to do it now either, but im going to maintain the trainings every week. the best way to learn is not by following. its by thinking and understanding, and understanding comes from teaching. i have thought of ways to achieve such out come. Earlier, i said that i have been so committed is becoz of keli. Now, it will be for you guys. For some of you, its not you who have let me down. rather, im the one who let you down. For the trust that you all have in me, and the amount of commitment that you guys are willing to put in, i'm gonna carry on and push SP to new heights. and i promise that i am gonna do it this year, even if it means that i have to sacrifice my time to train in NTU. Same problems might come again when preparing for the next tournament, but i wont be afraid to do it anymore. If i can pull through once, I will do it again, and doing better than this time.
Not to forget, the effort that zaki and keli put in to help me out, and the push and motivation from you guys when i really needed them. It wont have been possible if you guys are not there. JIAYOU!
12:55 am
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
I know that there are people reading, but whoever it is, i still going to write whatever i am going to write. I have no guts to say it out in front of everyone, but at least, i have the guts to write it out in front of everyone.
Currently, experiencing many different feelings. Sian, sad, stress, angry. Reason? there are so many.
there are some people who just thinks that poomsae training is easy. some would even say that the training wont even sweat. How true. Its just like me saying that i can dont study for my diploma + and graduate with a GPA of 1.2 for it. no kick also. Training poomsae without sweating is possible. I learnt all my high dan pattern in less than 1 week each, so easy. But the reason? because i am not training it for any competition, not training to go up to any standard, neither am i putting in effort to train. But when i do, 3 times! 3 Times maximum and i will be sweating all over. if you think that wont sweat, go train urself for 1 competition, do it yourself and proof me wrong.
SP is a school. School is = study. When i was studying, mh said to me that the students are the priority, not the coaches. That time i was year 3, i din agreed. Reason being i thought that studying in poly is easy. Now i look back, i totally agree with him. Not everyone is like me, who can come to poly and cruise through the 3 years and ends up with a uni placing. this place is a school. Study have to come first. Why have i wanted to conduct 7 training a week? it was so that the students can come when they are free, and be absent when they are not. Studying is a priority. There are people who forwarded module, and am i going to be the one who tell them, "you better come for my 2 extra training per week, if not you cant participate" They may be free 1 week and not free another. I am totally obliged to comply to them. After all, i am more free than them. My work cant take home and do, i dont have to study at home, and all my nights and weekends are free. + with the passion, why cant i take them 7 days a week. if someone is going to take me for granted, its definitely not going to be them. As long as they can take back somethings, and pass them down, its more than enough. Some days i am not free, they do understand also. Instead, i was asked to reduce my no. of training and got the normal training ground taken away, and totally left alone to do everything. I asked for show case, all except 1 seems to be interested. I set aside 2 days, it never happened. All that i was told was, i should do this i should do that. COME ON! the focus is not me! i need feedback for their performance. There is only so much i can pick up. Everyone has their views and opinions. Some may end up enlightening me. in the end? im not getting them. The reason i brought zaki into the competition, was not for him to compete. He is someone who is capable of doing the movements. Which means he has his own secrets in achieving them. He is being way more helpful in terms of giving feedback, passing down what he learnt, and doing what a coach should do. I have been exploring many ways to teach a move, but there is only so much i can think of. The 2 people helping the players the most, 1 is my coach, who is no longer recognised as a coach to a certain extent, the other, is our student. guys, the help that i need, is not to help me. is to help the players. At least i can see someone trying to help me in understanding my problems and helping with it. The others, i dont know what you all are thinking and i dont have the time to decipher your thoughts, but i dont see any help coming in. Telling me what i should do is not helping at all in any way. if you are saying that i need to focus on the majority instead of minority, why not just give me the resources so that i can focus on the minority. I din even bother asking for help, because i cant see it coming. or rather, i see myself taken for granted.
I have no idea how is sparring and poomsae training similar in any way. How is the 2 training even comparable to each other. lets take 1 example. if you suck at 1 kick, u can always use another one, poomsae, there is no alternative. you have to do, means you need to do. Sparring has no right or wrong, anything practical is fine. Poomsae was meant for practical usage, but competition was never based on practicality. Its either right or wrong. I have only 1 pair of eyes. How am i going to see everyone doing it at the same time. Accuracy is only one of the thing. are you telling me to look at 15 people doing it at their own timing, and then giving comments for each and individual one of them? i should try just write 15 numbers on a paper and ask u to write them out in the same order. The focus that i put on the "minorty", in this case was everyone but into small groups, is to the extent that i can totally visualise each and everyone of them doing their own pattern in my head. That is how strong the impression they have left. If you think that it is useless, its based on all those that i can write up so many pages of paper of comments for them. they know their mistakes, i know what to focus on for everyone of them. Is this even possible if i am taking them all at once? The time spent on training them is not just on the surface of the time that i spent with them. I spend many many many hours, writing out their individual mistakes, how to train some of the more important things, and things they need to remind themselves. There have been so much time spent into thinking how to break down one move into the finest details to be taught. rather than, constantly demoing to them how to do something, but no1 actually learnt it. Poomsae training requires a lot of will power. The only way to train, is to do the same 20+ steps over and over again. Imagine doing that for 1 hour, its pure mental torture. Sparring can have so many ways of training. such that the body gets tired way before the mind. How many times do you see people break down during sparring training, and how many times people breakdown during poomsae training. Every time i take them, i can see that some of them are on the verge of giving up. I was once trained for poomsae also. Poomsae training cant go on for long, but it will be more beneficial for short but frequent training. Sparring training can be 1 coach to many. but poomsae, it was never possible.
SP have never been a poomsae club. There is no emphasis on it other than before grading and competition. Last time there are quite a few coaches, but now? this kind of situation? trust me, its only gonna get worse. Hope sir gets to bring joyce down from ntc.. That 1, 1 person may be enough, me? sorry i cant.
What i can do, is to pass on as much things as possible. I dunno what to expect for the competition, but for them not being able to achieve what they desire, that would be my failure. I dont blame on the expectation on me, i dont blame it on any other pple. if they had trust in me, Im ought to give them what they wants.
I know that there are people reading, but whoever it is, i still going to write whatever i am going to write. I have no guts to say it out in front of everyone, but at least, i have the guts to write it out in front of everyone.
Currently, experiencing many different feelings. Sian, sad, stress, angry. Reason? there are so many.
there are some people who just thinks that poomsae training is easy. some would even say that the training wont even sweat. How true. Its just like me saying that i can dont study for my diploma + and graduate with a GPA of 1.2 for it. no kick also. Training poomsae without sweating is possible. I learnt all my high dan pattern in less than 1 week each, so easy. But the reason? because i am not training it for any competition, not training to go up to any standard, neither am i putting in effort to train. But when i do, 3 times! 3 Times maximum and i will be sweating all over. if you think that wont sweat, go train urself for 1 competition, do it yourself and proof me wrong.
SP is a school. School is = study. When i was studying, mh said to me that the students are the priority, not the coaches. That time i was year 3, i din agreed. Reason being i thought that studying in poly is easy. Now i look back, i totally agree with him. Not everyone is like me, who can come to poly and cruise through the 3 years and ends up with a uni placing. this place is a school. Study have to come first. Why have i wanted to conduct 7 training a week? it was so that the students can come when they are free, and be absent when they are not. Studying is a priority. There are people who forwarded module, and am i going to be the one who tell them, "you better come for my 2 extra training per week, if not you cant participate" They may be free 1 week and not free another. I am totally obliged to comply to them. After all, i am more free than them. My work cant take home and do, i dont have to study at home, and all my nights and weekends are free. + with the passion, why cant i take them 7 days a week. if someone is going to take me for granted, its definitely not going to be them. As long as they can take back somethings, and pass them down, its more than enough. Some days i am not free, they do understand also. Instead, i was asked to reduce my no. of training and got the normal training ground taken away, and totally left alone to do everything. I asked for show case, all except 1 seems to be interested. I set aside 2 days, it never happened. All that i was told was, i should do this i should do that. COME ON! the focus is not me! i need feedback for their performance. There is only so much i can pick up. Everyone has their views and opinions. Some may end up enlightening me. in the end? im not getting them. The reason i brought zaki into the competition, was not for him to compete. He is someone who is capable of doing the movements. Which means he has his own secrets in achieving them. He is being way more helpful in terms of giving feedback, passing down what he learnt, and doing what a coach should do. I have been exploring many ways to teach a move, but there is only so much i can think of. The 2 people helping the players the most, 1 is my coach, who is no longer recognised as a coach to a certain extent, the other, is our student. guys, the help that i need, is not to help me. is to help the players. At least i can see someone trying to help me in understanding my problems and helping with it. The others, i dont know what you all are thinking and i dont have the time to decipher your thoughts, but i dont see any help coming in. Telling me what i should do is not helping at all in any way. if you are saying that i need to focus on the majority instead of minority, why not just give me the resources so that i can focus on the minority. I din even bother asking for help, because i cant see it coming. or rather, i see myself taken for granted.
I have no idea how is sparring and poomsae training similar in any way. How is the 2 training even comparable to each other. lets take 1 example. if you suck at 1 kick, u can always use another one, poomsae, there is no alternative. you have to do, means you need to do. Sparring has no right or wrong, anything practical is fine. Poomsae was meant for practical usage, but competition was never based on practicality. Its either right or wrong. I have only 1 pair of eyes. How am i going to see everyone doing it at the same time. Accuracy is only one of the thing. are you telling me to look at 15 people doing it at their own timing, and then giving comments for each and individual one of them? i should try just write 15 numbers on a paper and ask u to write them out in the same order. The focus that i put on the "minorty", in this case was everyone but into small groups, is to the extent that i can totally visualise each and everyone of them doing their own pattern in my head. That is how strong the impression they have left. If you think that it is useless, its based on all those that i can write up so many pages of paper of comments for them. they know their mistakes, i know what to focus on for everyone of them. Is this even possible if i am taking them all at once? The time spent on training them is not just on the surface of the time that i spent with them. I spend many many many hours, writing out their individual mistakes, how to train some of the more important things, and things they need to remind themselves. There have been so much time spent into thinking how to break down one move into the finest details to be taught. rather than, constantly demoing to them how to do something, but no1 actually learnt it. Poomsae training requires a lot of will power. The only way to train, is to do the same 20+ steps over and over again. Imagine doing that for 1 hour, its pure mental torture. Sparring can have so many ways of training. such that the body gets tired way before the mind. How many times do you see people break down during sparring training, and how many times people breakdown during poomsae training. Every time i take them, i can see that some of them are on the verge of giving up. I was once trained for poomsae also. Poomsae training cant go on for long, but it will be more beneficial for short but frequent training. Sparring training can be 1 coach to many. but poomsae, it was never possible.
SP have never been a poomsae club. There is no emphasis on it other than before grading and competition. Last time there are quite a few coaches, but now? this kind of situation? trust me, its only gonna get worse. Hope sir gets to bring joyce down from ntc.. That 1, 1 person may be enough, me? sorry i cant.
What i can do, is to pass on as much things as possible. I dunno what to expect for the competition, but for them not being able to achieve what they desire, that would be my failure. I dont blame on the expectation on me, i dont blame it on any other pple. if they had trust in me, Im ought to give them what they wants.
11:43 pm
Monday, May 20, 2013
HTHT today..
Good job on getting something out of my heart after 4 month to the 1st person. now got some1 to talk to regarding that already..
Today, i realised more things about me.
1. Im a very principle based person.
2. I like to please everyone.
the second actually i knew very long ago already, but it was just brought to me again. and thinking back, the setting is now different.. Last time, i still can afford to do it, but now, given the position i am in, and given the things that i do, i can no longer keep up with it. During BMT some pple said that i like to wayang. Maybe that is the reason. I try to get onto good terms with everyone, for a simple reason that i will never know when i need help from some of them. The network definitely will open me up to more options in the future. But now, times have changed, so should I. Have to choose which side is more important, and beneficial for whatever i am tasked to do. Its difficult to know know if i am doing it for myself or for others.
Today, i realised that i have set so many limitations and principles to myself and the way i should do things, and its limiting my opportunities. A struggle between people around me, self conscious, and benefits for myself. I want the best for myself, but most of the time, i rank myself last, behind all others. laying out all the freebies on the table up for people to grab, but i will quietly stand at the back and wait for everyone else to finish up. to fight for what i want is one thing, but to let others suffer because of my selfishness is another. maybe i really should remove some of my principles but i am afraid that it will affect my own quality of life too. Nothing can be perfect, and of coz, not all principles will be matched all at once. Some have to be forsaken, but there are ones that i cant let go. A huge fight is breaking out. Much more easier said than done.
HTHT today..
Good job on getting something out of my heart after 4 month to the 1st person. now got some1 to talk to regarding that already..
Today, i realised more things about me.
1. Im a very principle based person.
2. I like to please everyone.
the second actually i knew very long ago already, but it was just brought to me again. and thinking back, the setting is now different.. Last time, i still can afford to do it, but now, given the position i am in, and given the things that i do, i can no longer keep up with it. During BMT some pple said that i like to wayang. Maybe that is the reason. I try to get onto good terms with everyone, for a simple reason that i will never know when i need help from some of them. The network definitely will open me up to more options in the future. But now, times have changed, so should I. Have to choose which side is more important, and beneficial for whatever i am tasked to do. Its difficult to know know if i am doing it for myself or for others.
Today, i realised that i have set so many limitations and principles to myself and the way i should do things, and its limiting my opportunities. A struggle between people around me, self conscious, and benefits for myself. I want the best for myself, but most of the time, i rank myself last, behind all others. laying out all the freebies on the table up for people to grab, but i will quietly stand at the back and wait for everyone else to finish up. to fight for what i want is one thing, but to let others suffer because of my selfishness is another. maybe i really should remove some of my principles but i am afraid that it will affect my own quality of life too. Nothing can be perfect, and of coz, not all principles will be matched all at once. Some have to be forsaken, but there are ones that i cant let go. A huge fight is breaking out. Much more easier said than done.
11:27 pm
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I cant post on a schedule of everyday.. its just too boring.. shall go back to blog when i wants to bah.. twitter is a blog with limited words.. more extensive things shall come onto the blog. =)
I cant post on a schedule of everyday.. its just too boring.. shall go back to blog when i wants to bah.. twitter is a blog with limited words.. more extensive things shall come onto the blog. =)
1:22 am
This was an interesting question posted to me.
Why do I put in so much effort into training and coaching. Who am i doing it for.
This is definitely the most difficult question that I have faced thus far. and i am glad to say, that i have been enlightened, after 4 hours.
When the question came out, it seems that the answer they were looking for is that i am doing it for them. but I have 0 feeling that i am doing it for them. if you all are reading, when u all have the chance of stepping into my shoes few years later, ask yourself this qn again.
My initial answer to the question was i am doing it for myself, to satisfy my own passion. It is not convincing. I am really not selfish to say that its for myself. In fact, later i realise that passion isnt directed at any one person. Passion is not for anyone, its the love of doing something, and just like love, there is no specific reasons. This is one of the reasons y i spend so much effort. but its not someone that i am doing it for.
The toughest part is really to tribute all this to one person. Asked keli and jw about it. 1 said 2ml reply, 1 took fairly long to reply. and in this mean while, i derived at 1 person.. Keli. if to say the one person that i am doing it for, it must be her. She spend so much effort coaching me in the past, and just getting medals is not enough to show appreciation. Medals only shows that she taught well. but to appreciate her effort, is to pass on those knowledge to more people who needs it. It may be diluted, but i will get better at it.
I had another taught that i was doing it for myself, because it helps me to acquire more knowledge. but then, i though, i wouldn't be taking part in competitions like that anymore, how does it benefit me. In the end, it still goes back to the people that im coaching and that will be repaying more to the people that i owe.
Today, i have realised the worst thing about coaching, thanks to chris and i really dunno how to deal with it and get over it. What a coach does is at the background, what a player does is how people judge the player. it may never link back to the coach. if the coach makes a mistake, it is reflected on the player, and that player will be judged by others. It is like making mistake as a coach, the player suffers from what the coach does wrong. It would be so unfair to the player, for having put in so much effort, doing the wrong thing, and all the while thinking that it is right. It is just too much for me to get over it.
1:10 am
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Missed out posting yesterday. Totally forgot abt it.. Here comes priciple 2! Principle 2 Authority does not come by force.. It comes by respect. Be humble and generous and truthful. Win hearts and respect will come. Be strict when necessary and draw the line when it comes necessary to gain the authority. But over doing will lose all the respect. Having trouble working on the authority part.. Shall continue on it..
Missed out posting yesterday. Totally forgot abt it.. Here comes priciple 2! Principle 2 Authority does not come by force.. It comes by respect. Be humble and generous and truthful. Win hearts and respect will come. Be strict when necessary and draw the line when it comes necessary to gain the authority. But over doing will lose all the respect. Having trouble working on the authority part.. Shall continue on it..
12:44 pm
Friday, May 10, 2013
Talked about blogging today.. shall do something which i have been wanting to do for a long time. =) I shall start posting one line for my own principles that i stick to in my life. you can say that it is about comforting myself, but well, it is! Principle no. 1 Never regret anything I have done. Even if i could turn back time, taking a different path, different obstacles which I cant foresee might be there . The result may more likely be something which I did not expect. I will never be able to find out the outcome if i had taken a different path back then. there is just too much variables in life. e.g. you may come to a traffic light and see your bus just leaving the stop. you may say that if you were there 1 min earlier, you could have caught the bus. What could happen is that u arrived 1 min earlier, saw the bus coming, ran across the road! and do your own imagination. This may be too pessimistic, but its just being exaggerating. there could have been a 1001 outcomes if you arrived 1 min earlier. LIVE WITH NO REGRETS! =)
Talked about blogging today.. shall do something which i have been wanting to do for a long time. =) I shall start posting one line for my own principles that i stick to in my life. you can say that it is about comforting myself, but well, it is! Principle no. 1 Never regret anything I have done. Even if i could turn back time, taking a different path, different obstacles which I cant foresee might be there . The result may more likely be something which I did not expect. I will never be able to find out the outcome if i had taken a different path back then. there is just too much variables in life. e.g. you may come to a traffic light and see your bus just leaving the stop. you may say that if you were there 1 min earlier, you could have caught the bus. What could happen is that u arrived 1 min earlier, saw the bus coming, ran across the road! and do your own imagination. This may be too pessimistic, but its just being exaggerating. there could have been a 1001 outcomes if you arrived 1 min earlier. LIVE WITH NO REGRETS! =)
12:34 am
Monday, April 30, 2012
Finally I'm back on course again at ocs.. Like finally after 3 month of slacking, and I'm back on day 14..
14 of 266
Had a late reporting time in the morning and only went air wing just before lunch. While those army kids are having their route march and runs on the 1st day of service term, we had 3 lectures consequtively for over 4 hrs. Nothing much to understand really, but its all about fighting the z monster so that won't sign extre. Dinner at 5.30, and then area cleaning and a quick inspection at 7.30, and here I am, reaching home again! Haha. Going by course schedule, its my 3rd bookout in14 days, which was supposed to be confinement. =) now my wing got zharbor! Jc de somemore, really not all are cui, some really not bad 1.. Haha, but dunwan to find an army gf. Haiz.. Definitely gonna get to know them soon enough though.. Haha.. In the mean while, next week obs alr. Gonna have fun! =)
Finally I'm back on course again at ocs.. Like finally after 3 month of slacking, and I'm back on day 14..
14 of 266
Had a late reporting time in the morning and only went air wing just before lunch. While those army kids are having their route march and runs on the 1st day of service term, we had 3 lectures consequtively for over 4 hrs. Nothing much to understand really, but its all about fighting the z monster so that won't sign extre. Dinner at 5.30, and then area cleaning and a quick inspection at 7.30, and here I am, reaching home again! Haha. Going by course schedule, its my 3rd bookout in14 days, which was supposed to be confinement. =) now my wing got zharbor! Jc de somemore, really not all are cui, some really not bad 1.. Haha, but dunwan to find an army gf. Haiz.. Definitely gonna get to know them soon enough though.. Haha.. In the mean while, next week obs alr. Gonna have fun! =)
9:49 pm
Monday, January 30, 2012
11 of 266
Did a 5km roller coaster run in the morning. Nvr actually ran 5km be4.. Longest was 4km!! I really had no confidence at all.. Somemore got upslope downslope, and must finish in 26.40.. Its like almost impossible to do 1.. But in the end, I managed to finish in 26.43++ amazing sio! My fastest recorded timing for 4km was 26 min! Now got 5km.. Nice.. My wing comm is 40 year old alr.. And he is like so damn fit. Ran 2.4 faster than most of us nvm.. 5km also pawn us... Even the staff serg in charge of store pawns us.. Haizz.
Afternoon to night did navigation exercise. Day 1 was pretty easy.. Supposed to do 4 checkpoints. But I was only atmy 2nd checkpoint when it rained.. Like wtf.. Heng I got my ans correct and passed the test.. Got 2/2 from the required 2/4.. Then don't have to retake.. But still, when I came out from the hill, I'm soaking wet.. Haizz.. Night navigation was more challenging.. Can't see compass, can't see things infront.. Just walk straight lor.. In the end 1 wrong 1 right.. Still pass.. Go back bunk 11.30 alr..
12 of 266
Early in the morning started with lectures and talks. I reretested my safety regulations.. Omg! Other than that, whole day do area cleaning.. Sounds like pace slowed down? Haha.. It ended 12.40am.. Nice.. Don't even have time to shower at all..
13 of 266
Parents visit day. Turned out early in the morning ard 4, barely having 3 hrs of slp.. Got tekan here and there, then up ranked 2 bars.. =) parents visiting the whole morning, nothing much.. Afternoon got some bunk reshuffle, thx to pple like me going to air wing. 4 bags of things to carry around.. Moved to air wing only to find out that I'm moving out of ocs.. And because I din return laptop, I can't go home and needed stay 1 night. But its sad lah.. Have to leave all the charlies behind. But I will be back 3 month later.. =) went back to talk to all of them.. But really feel damn sad.
14 of 266
Return laptop early in the morning and zao home.. Ocs paused here for me.. And what am I doing now? Lepak at canteen in aftc wait for 5.30 to go home.. Lame..
11 of 266
Did a 5km roller coaster run in the morning. Nvr actually ran 5km be4.. Longest was 4km!! I really had no confidence at all.. Somemore got upslope downslope, and must finish in 26.40.. Its like almost impossible to do 1.. But in the end, I managed to finish in 26.43++ amazing sio! My fastest recorded timing for 4km was 26 min! Now got 5km.. Nice.. My wing comm is 40 year old alr.. And he is like so damn fit. Ran 2.4 faster than most of us nvm.. 5km also pawn us... Even the staff serg in charge of store pawns us.. Haizz.
Afternoon to night did navigation exercise. Day 1 was pretty easy.. Supposed to do 4 checkpoints. But I was only atmy 2nd checkpoint when it rained.. Like wtf.. Heng I got my ans correct and passed the test.. Got 2/2 from the required 2/4.. Then don't have to retake.. But still, when I came out from the hill, I'm soaking wet.. Haizz.. Night navigation was more challenging.. Can't see compass, can't see things infront.. Just walk straight lor.. In the end 1 wrong 1 right.. Still pass.. Go back bunk 11.30 alr..
12 of 266
Early in the morning started with lectures and talks. I reretested my safety regulations.. Omg! Other than that, whole day do area cleaning.. Sounds like pace slowed down? Haha.. It ended 12.40am.. Nice.. Don't even have time to shower at all..
13 of 266
Parents visit day. Turned out early in the morning ard 4, barely having 3 hrs of slp.. Got tekan here and there, then up ranked 2 bars.. =) parents visiting the whole morning, nothing much.. Afternoon got some bunk reshuffle, thx to pple like me going to air wing. 4 bags of things to carry around.. Moved to air wing only to find out that I'm moving out of ocs.. And because I din return laptop, I can't go home and needed stay 1 night. But its sad lah.. Have to leave all the charlies behind. But I will be back 3 month later.. =) went back to talk to all of them.. But really feel damn sad.
14 of 266
Return laptop early in the morning and zao home.. Ocs paused here for me.. And what am I doing now? Lepak at canteen in aftc wait for 5.30 to go home.. Lame..
7:39 am
Thursday, January 26, 2012
10 of 266
2day had the 2nd high key after confidence jump.. Went to the gas chamber to experience tear gas.. Quite fun actually, doing exercise in chemical defence suit and mask. Look like many many mosquitos.. Haha.. Need to change filter, which I cocked up. Supposed to hold breadth, but I took so long that I decided I shall just take my time and breath.. And last part was to say a string of words without the mask. I managed to do it in 1 breadth, but when the officer ask me what wing, I suppose to ans charlie wing. But I heard what wing as breath in.. So I took the deep breath. That's when the whole effect really kicked in.. When go out of the chamber.. Really like I have been crying for the past hrs like that.. Damn cool.. Its super fun but many pple don't like.. Haha.. Still wanna try it again.. But no chance liao.. Haizz.. The rest of the day all talks.. But at night got a test for training safety regulations.. No1 actually really had the time to study for it.. 80% to pass.. Dunno real or fake also.. Pumping count as of today, 136
10 of 266
2day had the 2nd high key after confidence jump.. Went to the gas chamber to experience tear gas.. Quite fun actually, doing exercise in chemical defence suit and mask. Look like many many mosquitos.. Haha.. Need to change filter, which I cocked up. Supposed to hold breadth, but I took so long that I decided I shall just take my time and breath.. And last part was to say a string of words without the mask. I managed to do it in 1 breadth, but when the officer ask me what wing, I suppose to ans charlie wing. But I heard what wing as breath in.. So I took the deep breath. That's when the whole effect really kicked in.. When go out of the chamber.. Really like I have been crying for the past hrs like that.. Damn cool.. Its super fun but many pple don't like.. Haha.. Still wanna try it again.. But no chance liao.. Haizz.. The rest of the day all talks.. But at night got a test for training safety regulations.. No1 actually really had the time to study for it.. 80% to pass.. Dunno real or fake also.. Pumping count as of today, 136
11:03 pm
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
9 of 288
today had interview for air force engineer. among all 13 pple who went for the interview, my gpa is like on of the lowest. Im totally surprised that i got through it. Maybe it was because i wrote a wonderful essay. The interviewers actually picked out individual phrases from my essay to talk about, and they spent a lot of time asking me about my fyp and the things i learned in poly. Moral of the story, do well in poly to help in interview! and must impress them. my class DASE 24, 4 went ocs this batch. 3 expressed interest for this engineer thing. 3 all passed interview. total 6 passed interview, including me, 3 from my class, 1 of MM top student. wonders of sp. =) having said that. I also quite worried about the contracting. the previous time round, after i signed for me1 when i was in bmt, i din make it to the vocation. today i asked, he told me that ocs overwrites that contract. I just hope that all goes smoothly this time round. So many things comes with the contract. looks pleasing so far. with minimum effort, i can get sponsorship for uni, and if all goes well in uni, i will be earning a 3.5k to 4.5k after i grad. then gonna work for 4 years. sounds cool. but one disadvantaqe. people who enlist 1 batch earlier gets to study this year. they commission before uni starts school but i commission in oct. but on the bright side, i dont have to stand under the sun, in the parade square, and throw my cap, but i do get the sword. =) for people who are anticipating who i wan bring for social night, too bad! no more! i think.. haha.
If i manage to get the contract soon, i will be posted to air wings next week. BYE TO FIELD CAMP AND OUT FIELDS AND ALL THOSE INFANTRY SHIT!!! but guess what am i doing now. still doing my lbv shit, adding armour plate to my lbv.. i think next week i can happily throw it into the store room.. but oh well its just a few days... =)
9 of 288
today had interview for air force engineer. among all 13 pple who went for the interview, my gpa is like on of the lowest. Im totally surprised that i got through it. Maybe it was because i wrote a wonderful essay. The interviewers actually picked out individual phrases from my essay to talk about, and they spent a lot of time asking me about my fyp and the things i learned in poly. Moral of the story, do well in poly to help in interview! and must impress them. my class DASE 24, 4 went ocs this batch. 3 expressed interest for this engineer thing. 3 all passed interview. total 6 passed interview, including me, 3 from my class, 1 of MM top student. wonders of sp. =) having said that. I also quite worried about the contracting. the previous time round, after i signed for me1 when i was in bmt, i din make it to the vocation. today i asked, he told me that ocs overwrites that contract. I just hope that all goes smoothly this time round. So many things comes with the contract. looks pleasing so far. with minimum effort, i can get sponsorship for uni, and if all goes well in uni, i will be earning a 3.5k to 4.5k after i grad. then gonna work for 4 years. sounds cool. but one disadvantaqe. people who enlist 1 batch earlier gets to study this year. they commission before uni starts school but i commission in oct. but on the bright side, i dont have to stand under the sun, in the parade square, and throw my cap, but i do get the sword. =) for people who are anticipating who i wan bring for social night, too bad! no more! i think.. haha.
If i manage to get the contract soon, i will be posted to air wings next week. BYE TO FIELD CAMP AND OUT FIELDS AND ALL THOSE INFANTRY SHIT!!! but guess what am i doing now. still doing my lbv shit, adding armour plate to my lbv.. i think next week i can happily throw it into the store room.. but oh well its just a few days... =)
8:27 pm
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
8 of 266
Booking in on a public holiday sure feels fucked up. Its only the 2nd day of CNY and here I am, in camp, at my table, doing the journal that I still owe. The past few days, staying at home, doing nothing. Quite boring on a first book out. Next book out in 10 days, definitly going to have more fun. Tomorrow interview with rsaf, really hope that I can get out of army. And if things go well, I think I have the chance to go study uni on sponsorship.. =)
8 of 266
Booking in on a public holiday sure feels fucked up. Its only the 2nd day of CNY and here I am, in camp, at my table, doing the journal that I still owe. The past few days, staying at home, doing nothing. Quite boring on a first book out. Next book out in 10 days, definitly going to have more fun. Tomorrow interview with rsaf, really hope that I can get out of army. And if things go well, I think I have the chance to go study uni on sponsorship.. =)
9:30 pm
Saturday, January 21, 2012
5/266!! Hahahaha almost 2% through.. I said that I wan post every day, but there is just so little time now.. Haizz.. In the past 5 days, I had a total of less than 1 and half hrs to myself, including showering and preparing for the following day.. Let's date back to day 1:
1 of 266
No excercise on the 1st day of coz.. But book in, 1st thing was to drop all personal belongings to the 5 tonner and brought to the wing line, and immediately, we had a parade. Like really what the fuck, we were not even 1 hour in, and they bring us to a parade.. But nvm.. Coz its first time where we get something hanging in front of the chest and something sticking at the side of no. 4.. After the parade, went back to bun for like 3 mins to take a new bag and prepare for lecture.. I had no idea what it was about cos I was sleeping through it. =D and the rest of the day was all doing paper works, some talking by the commanders. At the end of the day, 15 mins admin time.
2 of 266
Ippt cat test already.. So fast. Pple in ocs standard all so high, its like see already also will improve 1.. My sbj all the while ard 216 only.. Personal best was 220 for once only.. And it it only happened once. Then when I took the test, 1st jump 203.. 2nd 1 225, I was like wtf.. Haha, so, my first silver.. Lectures, recruitment talks. Lectures as usual, not listening at all.. Air force recruitment talk is the only thing that I have benefited from.. Shall not talk too much about it yet.. At night as usual, all the admin stuff. Be4 dinner, went to a 4km orientation run.. 4km!! Wtf. At night, more talks and admin stuff to do.. Ended up with 15 mins again.
3 of 266
3rd day of ocs, woke up early in the morning, and guess wat, parade again!! Change of school appt holder, don't really care about it, don't concern me yet. But damn it, stand so much longer than pop.. Haizz.. After which, lectures and talks again.. All seems so useless. But have to slp with caution. Heard that if caught will have to confine for 1 weekend.. Army recruitment talk at night got some freebies.. Can use to decorate my room.. Haha.. And this recruitment talk all I gained is that I must die die aim to go artillery.. Shld not take the risk on infantry..
4 of 266
Morning got an early “turn out” at 4.40am. Kena fucked coz got 2 pple din wake up to report.. But nvm, a few pumpings only. But the main purpose for the turn out is to do tower run and confidence jump. The run up the safti tower is not tiring at all, but the view from the tower, is just magnificant. Quote from 1 platoon mate, he said, when up there, u just feel like smoking.. The confidence jump was fun.. Really really fun.. Jumping off a 5m diving platform. How hard can it be rite? For me, its definitely easy to step off the platform, but its the air time after that which is scary. When others jump, u see them falling for like 1 seconds. But when I jump, I keep thinking y haven hit the water. It feels like 5 seconds of suspense. But at the same time, this is what that gives the thrill. Cny celebration in the morning.. Nothing spectacular.. Not even have chairs.. And must eat lunch standing.. =.= following that, another day of lectures.. Haizz.. At night got the 1st LV lesson.. Lucky enough, our pc was definitely not boring and I'm able to absord the things taught instead of slping.. Ended almost 8.30, spend some time to collect chemical suit from the store man, at the end, 20 mins admin time.. Haha
5 of 266
Early in the morning, 4km endurance run.. I was surprised that I am able to keep up. =) the rest of the morning was spent doing pacing. Was supposed to finish compass calibration also, but haizz. Other platoons too slow.. We were supposed to book out at 1, but when we return to wing line, it was alr 1.30.. Packed the bunk a bit, had a stand by area. Everything was fucked up. But I din kena pumping at all.. =) when everything was done, we finally got to book out at 3.30.. And it was a long walk to the gate, where I spent 20 mins waiting cab with 3 others, and ended up taking bus home..
Now is day 7 of 266. Considered very early for the first book out.. Haha. Pumping count for me is 96 so far. For pple wondering how ocs is like, 1 sentence to it. More welfare, treated more like human. But totally no time to enjoy those welfare as of now..
5/266!! Hahahaha almost 2% through.. I said that I wan post every day, but there is just so little time now.. Haizz.. In the past 5 days, I had a total of less than 1 and half hrs to myself, including showering and preparing for the following day.. Let's date back to day 1:
1 of 266
No excercise on the 1st day of coz.. But book in, 1st thing was to drop all personal belongings to the 5 tonner and brought to the wing line, and immediately, we had a parade. Like really what the fuck, we were not even 1 hour in, and they bring us to a parade.. But nvm.. Coz its first time where we get something hanging in front of the chest and something sticking at the side of no. 4.. After the parade, went back to bun for like 3 mins to take a new bag and prepare for lecture.. I had no idea what it was about cos I was sleeping through it. =D and the rest of the day was all doing paper works, some talking by the commanders. At the end of the day, 15 mins admin time.
2 of 266
Ippt cat test already.. So fast. Pple in ocs standard all so high, its like see already also will improve 1.. My sbj all the while ard 216 only.. Personal best was 220 for once only.. And it it only happened once. Then when I took the test, 1st jump 203.. 2nd 1 225, I was like wtf.. Haha, so, my first silver.. Lectures, recruitment talks. Lectures as usual, not listening at all.. Air force recruitment talk is the only thing that I have benefited from.. Shall not talk too much about it yet.. At night as usual, all the admin stuff. Be4 dinner, went to a 4km orientation run.. 4km!! Wtf. At night, more talks and admin stuff to do.. Ended up with 15 mins again.
3 of 266
3rd day of ocs, woke up early in the morning, and guess wat, parade again!! Change of school appt holder, don't really care about it, don't concern me yet. But damn it, stand so much longer than pop.. Haizz.. After which, lectures and talks again.. All seems so useless. But have to slp with caution. Heard that if caught will have to confine for 1 weekend.. Army recruitment talk at night got some freebies.. Can use to decorate my room.. Haha.. And this recruitment talk all I gained is that I must die die aim to go artillery.. Shld not take the risk on infantry..
4 of 266
Morning got an early “turn out” at 4.40am. Kena fucked coz got 2 pple din wake up to report.. But nvm, a few pumpings only. But the main purpose for the turn out is to do tower run and confidence jump. The run up the safti tower is not tiring at all, but the view from the tower, is just magnificant. Quote from 1 platoon mate, he said, when up there, u just feel like smoking.. The confidence jump was fun.. Really really fun.. Jumping off a 5m diving platform. How hard can it be rite? For me, its definitely easy to step off the platform, but its the air time after that which is scary. When others jump, u see them falling for like 1 seconds. But when I jump, I keep thinking y haven hit the water. It feels like 5 seconds of suspense. But at the same time, this is what that gives the thrill. Cny celebration in the morning.. Nothing spectacular.. Not even have chairs.. And must eat lunch standing.. =.= following that, another day of lectures.. Haizz.. At night got the 1st LV lesson.. Lucky enough, our pc was definitely not boring and I'm able to absord the things taught instead of slping.. Ended almost 8.30, spend some time to collect chemical suit from the store man, at the end, 20 mins admin time.. Haha
5 of 266
Early in the morning, 4km endurance run.. I was surprised that I am able to keep up. =) the rest of the morning was spent doing pacing. Was supposed to finish compass calibration also, but haizz. Other platoons too slow.. We were supposed to book out at 1, but when we return to wing line, it was alr 1.30.. Packed the bunk a bit, had a stand by area. Everything was fucked up. But I din kena pumping at all.. =) when everything was done, we finally got to book out at 3.30.. And it was a long walk to the gate, where I spent 20 mins waiting cab with 3 others, and ended up taking bus home..
Now is day 7 of 266. Considered very early for the first book out.. Haha. Pumping count for me is 96 so far. For pple wondering how ocs is like, 1 sentence to it. More welfare, treated more like human. But totally no time to enjoy those welfare as of now..
Labels: ocs
4:48 pm
Monday, January 16, 2012
Kk.. Its finally time to get back to blogging. For just 1 reason, to keep track of time for my next 9 month.. Its like I'm gonna go to jail like that, feels so shitty now. I have no idea how it is gonna be like, but definitly not going to be good. Tomorrow will be the first day of the 1st week, I suppose, out of the 38 weeks. I have no idea which day its gonna be the commission day, but for now, just take it as 266 days left.
Starting today, its 0/266, and shall see the numbers get closer and closer. =)
Too much uncertainties. How bad is the situation, whether can go air wing, when going overseas, posting after 3 month, who to find for social night especially, oh and field camp in tekong.. Hais. Really feel like dying. I dunwan to bookout on sat coz I can't get gold for ippt. 9 month in total. How many times can I see those different group of friends. There are so many things that I wanted to do if I was posted somewhere else, but now, all seems impossible. Really hope that I can get a good life after that.
0/266
Kk.. Its finally time to get back to blogging. For just 1 reason, to keep track of time for my next 9 month.. Its like I'm gonna go to jail like that, feels so shitty now. I have no idea how it is gonna be like, but definitly not going to be good. Tomorrow will be the first day of the 1st week, I suppose, out of the 38 weeks. I have no idea which day its gonna be the commission day, but for now, just take it as 266 days left.
Starting today, its 0/266, and shall see the numbers get closer and closer. =)
Too much uncertainties. How bad is the situation, whether can go air wing, when going overseas, posting after 3 month, who to find for social night especially, oh and field camp in tekong.. Hais. Really feel like dying. I dunwan to bookout on sat coz I can't get gold for ippt. 9 month in total. How many times can I see those different group of friends. There are so many things that I wanted to do if I was posted somewhere else, but now, all seems impossible. Really hope that I can get a good life after that.
0/266
9:04 pm
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
OH MY FING GOD!!!!!
WHAT IS THIS!!!!
CONFIRM EXAMINER MARK WRONG 1 LAH!!! How can i get this when i have been thinking that i might fail a module and at most get a C+. JOKE!!! but.. NTU!!! HERE I COME!!!! =D
im now not so much but SLIGHTly above the 10th percentile mark. shld not be a problem. and now, i dont have to rely on that NAA to get me in. =)
i dunno how i even going to slp, maybe just forget it. happy until i tired.. =DD
THIS IS CRAZY!!! but i like it~
OH MY FING GOD!!!!!
WHAT IS THIS!!!!
CONFIRM EXAMINER MARK WRONG 1 LAH!!! How can i get this when i have been thinking that i might fail a module and at most get a C+. JOKE!!! but.. NTU!!! HERE I COME!!!! =D
im now not so much but SLIGHTly above the 10th percentile mark. shld not be a problem. and now, i dont have to rely on that NAA to get me in. =)
i dunno how i even going to slp, maybe just forget it. happy until i tired.. =DD
THIS IS CRAZY!!! but i like it~
1:44 am
Sunday, October 31, 2010
things are looking good!! =) mind being totally clear, able to think properly, and i have been able to come up with many theories myself.
1. always treasure what you have. to ask for more, is putting what you have on the line of losing it.
2. greed brings about both success and failure. If you dont like failure, dont be greedy, but you will never be successful. (ambition is under greed)
3. whenever caught up in a situation, step aside and look at it from a 3rd person view. you will be able to spot many insights which you wont if you keep yourself involved in it.
4. failure from high expectation brings about great grief. little success out of expectation brings about brings great joy.
5. life may sucks at times, but its because of those times, others are great.
one day, they will become great quotes.. maybe they are already...
things are looking good!! =) mind being totally clear, able to think properly, and i have been able to come up with many theories myself.
1. always treasure what you have. to ask for more, is putting what you have on the line of losing it.
2. greed brings about both success and failure. If you dont like failure, dont be greedy, but you will never be successful. (ambition is under greed)
3. whenever caught up in a situation, step aside and look at it from a 3rd person view. you will be able to spot many insights which you wont if you keep yourself involved in it.
4. failure from high expectation brings about great grief. little success out of expectation brings about brings great joy.
5. life may sucks at times, but its because of those times, others are great.
one day, they will become great quotes.. maybe they are already...
11:25 am
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
i may be the last person the you wants to talk to, but you are the first person who i will want to talk to again. somethings are just missing. i cant tell what exactly is missing, but it is just affecting me. there are many things i want to proof, there are some that i have to proof, and there are some that i may never get to proof. no matter how possible or not possible it is, i will try my best. i have to do to uphold my ego.
i may be the last person the you wants to talk to, but you are the first person who i will want to talk to again. somethings are just missing. i cant tell what exactly is missing, but it is just affecting me. there are many things i want to proof, there are some that i have to proof, and there are some that i may never get to proof. no matter how possible or not possible it is, i will try my best. i have to do to uphold my ego.
1:03 am
Monday, October 18, 2010
recently i think i have isolated myself away from a lot of people. maybe its because that i know that there are somethings that they would talk about if i were to hang out with them, or, i have a feeling that i have lost faith in something called friendship for now. i am starting to doubt, whether true friendship really exists. to me, a true friend is someone who will never abandon me no matter what i did, will back me up if i am right, and will me out of my mistakes at all cost. however, now i am starting to think that no matter who the person is, there will always be something that can happen and ruin a friendship forever. be it never being friends again, or not being as close as before. many times it had happened before and there are many various causes. in the past, i used to believe that somethings could happen and brings friends closer, but as of now, i have never really experienced it. it makes me think if this is even possible. it happens in drama very often, but life is not drama. life is something that nothing can be compared to. it is something that you will experience once and only once.
sometimes i do dream of things happening and many many dreams on one subject. all of the dreams involve different emotions, but it can be all linked together in a logical way. what is it that is really going through in my mind. is dream a reflection of once emotions and feelings? have you seen something and thought that you have dreamed about it before? are those dreams somethings that will happen in the future? like i care about those things now. i have already decided to leave it to the future yishun to settle. just in case i forget about them, i have sent an email into the future, on the day that i turn 30, to remind me of the things to do, and my personal goals and targets as of now. let the future yishun to decide what to do.
recently i think i have isolated myself away from a lot of people. maybe its because that i know that there are somethings that they would talk about if i were to hang out with them, or, i have a feeling that i have lost faith in something called friendship for now. i am starting to doubt, whether true friendship really exists. to me, a true friend is someone who will never abandon me no matter what i did, will back me up if i am right, and will me out of my mistakes at all cost. however, now i am starting to think that no matter who the person is, there will always be something that can happen and ruin a friendship forever. be it never being friends again, or not being as close as before. many times it had happened before and there are many various causes. in the past, i used to believe that somethings could happen and brings friends closer, but as of now, i have never really experienced it. it makes me think if this is even possible. it happens in drama very often, but life is not drama. life is something that nothing can be compared to. it is something that you will experience once and only once.
sometimes i do dream of things happening and many many dreams on one subject. all of the dreams involve different emotions, but it can be all linked together in a logical way. what is it that is really going through in my mind. is dream a reflection of once emotions and feelings? have you seen something and thought that you have dreamed about it before? are those dreams somethings that will happen in the future? like i care about those things now. i have already decided to leave it to the future yishun to settle. just in case i forget about them, i have sent an email into the future, on the day that i turn 30, to remind me of the things to do, and my personal goals and targets as of now. let the future yishun to decide what to do.
2:13 am
Monday, October 11, 2010
Many things crosses way with life.
some are good,
some are bad,
some are important,
some are not so important.
some only happens once,
some keeps happening.
some are there until you grab it.
some are there for a instant for you to grab.
when you missed the chance, let go of it. leave it in the past and never look back again. i have stopped blogging on my personal blog. which is a good sign. life doesn't wait for you, and it just keep moving on. clinging on to it, only makes life hard. learn to go with the flow, learn to let go. being optimistic = happy go lucky. sometimes, being in my own fantasy, makes my world unrealistic. then when reality steps in, there comes problem. i shall learn to be a realistic optimistic person. =)
time is all i need...
Many things crosses way with life.
some are good,
some are bad,
some are important,
some are not so important.
some only happens once,
some keeps happening.
some are there until you grab it.
some are there for a instant for you to grab.
when you missed the chance, let go of it. leave it in the past and never look back again. i have stopped blogging on my personal blog. which is a good sign. life doesn't wait for you, and it just keep moving on. clinging on to it, only makes life hard. learn to go with the flow, learn to let go. being optimistic = happy go lucky. sometimes, being in my own fantasy, makes my world unrealistic. then when reality steps in, there comes problem. i shall learn to be a realistic optimistic person. =)
time is all i need...
5:16 pm
Name: Xiong Yishun
D.O.B.: 14/08/1990
School: SP/DASE
Friends Online
D.O.B.: 14/08/1990
School: SP/DASE
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